Question:  In your most recent meditation podcast, "Going deep within" you suggest sitting up in a chair. I usually meditate lying flat because my back problems make it difficult to sit comfortably. I was wondering why you suggested sitting for this meditation. Does it really make any difference?

Answer:  We tend to be more alert when sitting, which may us more aware of what's going on in our mind. "Going deep within" directs your attention to the natural movement of the mind inward. This may be more noticeable sitting upright because of the mind being more alert. You can certainly do the meditation lying down if that's the only way you can be comfortable. It may work just as well that way for you.

Suggestions for grieving --

Question:  I just discovered your wonderful meditation CD’s on iTunes. Can you recommend anything else particularly for the grieving process? Or just possibly give me some tips on how to get through this?

Answer:  There are all sorts of things we can do to help us through, but there's no way we can avoid the pain. The only way through grief is to be right in the heart of it, and sometimes the pain is can feel unbearable. The whole process is truly overwhelming. Obviously you are making a priority of relaxation and self-care, and this is essential. You can read about grief on the website which contains most of what I'd write in the way of tips. There's also a CD called Graceful Passages which was made for people dying, but I find it also very effective for supporting the process of grieving.

Problems with breathing during meditation --

Question:  Hello, I recently started to listen to your podcasts and they're very helpful. However I notice that I'm having a hard time breathing and I was wondering if I'm doing something wrong or if it's just that I'm not concentrating well enough.  I find that I get out of breath when I take deep breaths, if that makes any sense! My heart starts to race and my chest feels a bit tight. I have anxiety and my heart races often. Is it possible that I'm inhaling too far? Do I have to inhale all the way until I can't get any more air in my lungs, or do I just stop when I feel there's enough air? The difficulties happen usually when I'm trying to meditate, and also when I'm trying to do the breathing meditations.

Answer:  It's true that anxiety affects how we breathe. It's very common to be a "shallow breather" and it sounds like you've noticed this during the day. By learning to relax, the breath will naturally get easier and deeper over time.

It sounds like you are trying to breath deeply during the meditations. For my guided meditations, it's better not to try to breath in any specific way. Just let the breath go on its own the way it naturally does. Don't try to manipulate the breath in any way. With the breathing meditations, the idea is to be aware of the breath, but not to try to change how it goes. Try the meditations without trying to breath in any particular way and see what happens.

As far as "concentrating well enough", you don't need to concentrate during these meditations. The idea is not to strain on anything or try to make anything happen.

Love meditation but don't feel I can take the time...

Question:  I have had many awakening moments in meditation and realizations that helped greatly. But there are still things that knock me out of patience and the meditative mind - school-related stresses... I fell behind, and now am struggling to keep up with the pace, and it has created an immense amount of stress for me. I know that all I want in life, especially now, is to rest in meditation and relaxing for life, without putting myself up to any false expectations society throws at me; but I feel like I can't afford t o relax because I have fallen so far behind - I would much rather relax and fail everything in school than stay stressed and score well. Would you be able to give me any advice?

Answer:  It's interesting that we often feel that we can't afford to relax because we have too much to do. The opposite is true, if we are stressed and "too busy", we actually can't afford not to relax! We are actually able to be much more efficient and productive when we are relaxed than when we feel stressed. We don't have to feel pressured to accomplish things. When we feel stressed, we often don't think clearly, do things hastily and make mistakes. Even if you have a little less time due to the time you meditate, the time you are working with be "quality time". I'd suggest that you take some time each day to meditate. You could use our podcast episode #1 (Mini-Relaxation Break) for a short break anytime throughout the day.